My Search Continues

It can be said, six years of living and six years of death. We all know that time never stops may it be for anyone. Either it is for a person who is living with sorrows or for a person who left the world in happiness. But there are always some grieves which remains untamed in heart. We all feel very adaptive to situation either we want to or not.

Sometimes we want to sit beside a person who is the source of ultimate energy to us when we are disappointed or want to get a hug of that unconditional love which makes us realise our efficiency to condemn circumstances for our own self. And when the presence is not felt we are afraid of losing someone at heart.

We all enjoy the festivity the colours and the lights. But as because of the absence of someone the colour of Holi fades and the lights Diwali dims. For few the reason to celebrate dissolves but still they manage to live a significant role for the wellbeing of others still associated with their living.

In those days of agitation and desperation the only feeling that comes to mind is the acceptance of circumstance in the way they are. Losing is never easy and realising the loss is tougher but at that very moment we must learn the art of accumulating the scattered parts of life.

When I lost my father I didn’t lost a person’s presence but I lost an attachment, an emotion and some moments that would have made my life much happier than it is today. It doesn’t mean I am not happy. I truly live my life but sometime I do miss those small little moments and laughs. Like I always wanted him to give me driving lessons, I always wanted him to be introduced to my friends and tell him “Dad these are the people who make me happy when I am not home, they take care of me and fetch me out of tough conditions in life and make me laugh.” I wished that I would have taken him out on a father-daughter dinner. And I wished to share my small little success with him showing him the trophies I won, or may be wrapping a warm muffler in winters to save him from cold. When my emotion to him erupted I used cuddle him and say “BABA” and he knew I just need his touch.

And the most I wanted was to make him happy. I do not believe that he is a sparkling star in the sky watching me up from there, though I believe that he is born again in this world with his new life he is the happiest being on earth and one day I will discover him again I will meet him again so that I could get the chance of saying him what I have been carrying in my heart from past six years. I want to say him sorry for the number of times I hurt him and I want to say how much I loved him and still love him. And my search continues.

God can hear what your prayers are

There is a prayer to give strength to people face with circumstances they don't want to accept. The power of the prayer comes from its insight into human nature. The good news for those people who utter the words of prayer is that God will hear you and will answer your prayer. But the bad news is that sometimes the answer is 'no'.

ugliest truth of all

When the truth is ugly people try to keep it hidden. Because they know if revealed the damage it will do. So they conceal it behind the closed door. But truth no matter how ugly, always emerges. And someone we care about ends up getting hurt. And someone else will revel in their pain. And that's the ugliest truth of all.

and the walk continues

I tried to remember the world with every detail. But what I remember most is how afraid I was to see and live in fear which is to not live at all. I wish I could tell this to those I left behind to those whom I see when I turn around. But would it do any good to them? Probably not. So I continue to walk and remember the world as it is but now without that fear.

just a thought

When the women water their plants, a man search for a place to park his car or the girls jumping their rope. Its beautiful evening around and nobody seems to be 'desperate'.

Scent of a woman

Even when she offers the freshly baked golden cake, decor of delicate flowers and vintage red wine from her collection with high spirits during the change in her life. But somewhere there is a timid and scared heart. Scared from betrayal and left alone all over again.

The chances we have

In life we all take chances on the opportunity that comes our way.
Either its for the winning back the love of our life.
Or to shot prove what we worth.
To make people we care follow the right path.
Or sometimes just because we didn't nailed the last one we received.

Just a start

As it is said “all’s well that ends well” and so it happened. For me it’s not about grabbing 3 awards last evening, but also the recognition and special awards in form of friends whom I clutched last year. Memories that will be cherished throughout life and immense energy to say “abhi to shurwat hai” there is lot more to come. Thanks to everyone who has always been there and for those who weren’t I pray you all a great life ahead and in case your need, I’ll be there.

Won three awards for best corporate film, best dissertation and top position in management batch. Great evening with alumni meet, cool performances and celebration of in-house talent. Thanks to all the people for their wishes and love. 

 p.s-A person must know the difference between ethical and unethical, and doing so if you can mark your presence, you are a winner.

The Ugly Truth

With my recent experience I came to know a fact. The fact which could either lead me to the ultimate wrong direction or its realization could save me. I don’t know have I still been able to realize it or not. Am on the same path where I do know the consequences though my ability to face the truth is faded. When we work we do not work our own selves, but also for the people around us our family friends and other (unless that person is a complete selfish jerk). So many times we call friends when we get something big we basket them together with us but as time roll on and a time comes when you need a favor when you need a help, what response do you get “well I am at some place, will call you in an hour” and that call never comes. That’s my people I have such great friends in life. Huh! Now while writing when I have discovered that I actually realized the myth, I believe wrapping up the things in formality would best suit me. No matters how good heart you possess when it comes to sharing but it’s always misused by people who could speak tones but when it comes to deeds then are not even a penny worth. See around you there would be hundreds of people around you with the same typicality and if you are the one then please change yourself as there will be a time when people would start hating you and your presence. And that’s the ugly truth.

Role of a Media Manager

A media manager works with two objectives one is to promote media visibility and present their company or cause through communication services and other is to use media for the advertising campaign through media services. In both the aspects it is very necessary for a media manager to maintain a significant and professional working relationship with the key media either local or national media outlets that would include newspapers, television, radio, publications, journals etc and often supervise in-house and outside public relation to write press release, press kits and others. In all the above terms it is easy to understand that a media manager’s work can leave a huge impact on the audience while developing and sharing information on a mass scale. A media manager is able to decide which media to use for advertising a campaign. Working from brief about the issue, up till deciding and making strategic plans appropriate to the target audience.

If a media manager is working on an issue related to social problem then first and foremost after deciding the target audience is to choose a medium to reach. It today’s society disregarding the fact that who are educated and who are not, as everybody carries the knowledge of society’s domain problems, as throughout the years there have been lots of causes, projects and campaigns introduced which urged the knowledge to them. The need in the society is not for introducing another campaign which will have shelves life but to induce a communication which hit the audience mind and tempt them to respond. A media manager’s role is not to make a programme showcasing different problems but her responsibility will include that at a time how many medium or channels she can choose. Giving a latest example of Amir Khan’s “satyamev jayate” is a modern and legendary example for how a media manager can work. Describing the show, which puts a platform for discussing different social issues, that how show is able to reach vast mass avoiding the geographical location. The programme is not only telecasted to its mother channel that it star plus, but it was premiered in star’s bouquet chain plus national channel that is doordarshan. It is first ever programme that is telecasted in five different channels including national and regional. The next major chore was space buying in the channels. Blocking the prime time in major channels is a sheer example of tackling the television channel as when in a particular time and major channels telecast a particular programme the audience do not an unconventional watch. The use of digital media may it be through internet or sms polls. In all the ways the programme trying to hook audience, explains that how easy though a cosmic job a media manager can do when it comes to affect expanded audience.

A media manager through her work can not only target a huge audience but can chase number of channels and medium to raise a concern in heart of the audience. With day to day changes in the media industry, it is important for a media manger to adopt new skills and upgrade versions for deploying social problems with a problem deciphering attitude in a society where it can urge the public to respond and start working toward the development and abolishment, which in totality after regress and routine intervention would uplift the society as whole. As using the media in a correct and effective way is the key skill with which a media manager work.

one of the random

This essentially comes from one the worst dreams I ever had. Wanted to share, but couldn’t write a journal so tried to give it a dreadful poetic shot. Its less scary to read than actually seeing it in dreams.. 

 

In the garden I walk

With smooth steps that fall

A voice echoes with grudge

A hesitant turn toward the shrub

Screaming faces and latent coffins

Saw a tot with thorny eyes

Blue rimed iris and blotched pain

Pushing his hand ahead for a dread claim

Spellbind me with callous adage

Held my hand with barb grip

He took me to an old castle

Filled with carcass and decayed hay

I cried, but nobody could hear

Everything ruined, with that fatal curse

cinematic view

I would never know how deep my thoughts are about for films and film making, though I do appreciate intelligent work. I am not critic like most of the viewers are. But there are only fewer films which hook me and insist to watch it over again and again.

Today’s cinema seems not appealing much.  With huge star cast and lavish sets, expensive attires and everything that will account a gigantic budget, but they are incomplete. Cinema for me is not only first two weeks collection at the box office, but something that would fetch audience after years they have been released. Rather it should be enticing with its rich literature. For example this weekend most of us enjoyed watching “Vicky donor” we laughed and loved the humor, idea and concept, its new and ultra modern, but after a while we don’t even remember. We do not get anything to imbibe. They are just entertaining. On the other hand we still watch Satyajit Ray, why? Without any out and out graphics and not even colors, why we still watch them. Why do we watch Alfred Hitchcock, or movies of Cary Grant years later?

Art is not just a form of expression, it’s an intellect business. We need some qualitative drama and we cannot ask someone to make and serve it to us rather one must develop own taste and try to find how to make an art that would make people fall in even after years. That’s the appreciation of work.

the letters she wrote

I have stopped feeling anything. I don’t feel the happiness or the sadness. I don’t feel peace and I don’t feel the cold either. I miss so much of me when I am not around you, I don’t know will I ever have the feeling of life all over again as I can’t see myself alive, I am only breathing miles away from you.

Ps- recent add on lines in the assortment of my long seen dream.

upset mind never gives refreshing thoughts

I hate the feeling, 

 getting wet under my skin.

The blood flowing in my nerves, 

 the warmth I thrive for.

I am no more a satin bird,

 I don’t build my blue abode.

I cannot apologize,

 if I am rude to certain disguise

over and over again

I am sitting next to the window, looking at the deep blue sky and the bloomed moon with its yellow light falling on my purple bed sheet. Every time when the cold breeze flips my hair I coil it in my finger and push it back to my ears.

There so many things come to my mind when I am sitting all alone. Memoirs! I believe. Many things like my first botched love or few of my friends whom I had and have in my life, whom I didn’t know months back, how I met them, how we became friends, what they like, what makes them happy, and am I really a good friend to them because I never get this answer from my mind, sometimes I feel out of place, I don’t have a humor like they do which can make anyone under the sun anytime. But still they are my friends!

Fishing on memoirs really goes long time for me. When I recoil my life I see so many things.

People generally admire things which they don’t have in their life, and forget to bow for whatever they possess. In a short span of my life I got something to bow over and over again. But “the something missing feeling” never goes.

And I am still thinking!

men and women

Woman do not choose a man with better resume, all she need is a man to listen her unlike a man who generally chooses not talk though be in his own mind about 95 per cent of time. Form books to movies we always see the difference between the two beings of different planets sometime they become great friends or lovers. Trying to sort out the differences is never easy. Woman can never act as a man and man can never think like a woman. But still we appreciate when the both beings fake to fit in each other’s shoes.

The game between the mind and heart goes on. When a woman dates a guy she does not carry a check list “is he handsome?”, “is he sophisticated?”, “can he be trained?” and so many other things, but she has only one thing in her mind that is “will he listen to me?” if this question is answered then you can actually get an idea that what kind of man you are with. And for ladies at least try a chance to attempt to appreciate men in whatever they do even to the smallest thing. They want to get appreciated and needed. That’s all they want and after that they are like “ginnie” who would do it all to make you happy. And if men are ready to listen to women, then women are like fairies who would eventually give them a loving world where men will get the warm den with regular supply of clean socks!

Why do we get hurt?

When we know that something are not meant for us, then why do we imagine ourselves in that perfect picture to which we do not belong to and still we do.

I don’t know about others but by the time I am realising that I have developed a tendency of imagining myself in that perfect picture where my smile is not just a curve on face but a heartfelt expression. I also realised it ‘late’ though that it would not give anything which I want. But still I do.

I believe I must stop living in dreams, but at the same time I also know it is keeping me alive. Then how do I spring up from getting hurt further. May be my words are not taking me to anywhere, but I must be somewhere..!

palke bund hai par inme neend kahan.

Palke bund hai par inme neend kaha,

Jage ankhon se dekha tha sapna.

Aas paas hai khushiya bhikhri,

Par phir bhi hai mera mann udaas.

Jaane kahan ruth gaya hai mera khuda,

Dhundti phir rahi hu mein unhe zameen aur aasmaan.

Tutt gaye sare khwaab ek pal mein,

Meri manzil dhundli par gaye.

Mujhe chhor kar tu chala gaya,

Mein to raah mein chalte chalte tham gaye.

Palke bund hai par inme neend kaha,

Jage ankhon se dekha tha sapna.