What do we choose.

What is Mortality? It is the gift from God. Gift that unleashes us from all the realms in this world where the body we are living in facing all the pain and doused in sorrows is relieved and is given a chance to choose a new life, a chance to discover new creation again. Immortality is not caution gift, though a threat of living in the same pain throughout the time, which never ends. We spent whole life collecting ashes from the past and become the person of today. What does Immortality brings to us? Immortality only witnesses the world transiting into greyer and greyer with every passing moment. Immortality does not give us a master or a guide who can take us to know the tranquility of the space. It does not even give us the reason of survival. Then why we human look up for immortality, where all we need is mortality. 

WHICH DOOR YOU WILL WALK THROUGH! Choose a door and know about your personality.

1 - You are a fun individual that likes to keep things light and airy. You are all about nurturing others and appreciating the simple luxuries in life; such as your fine dishware, favorite candle or eating artisan bread from the local bakery. You most likely have a love for traveling and other cultures. You truly want the best for everyone and love creating a welcoming atmosphere. It is important to remember that if you ever feel that you need help or support, it is OK to just ask someone.

2- You are clean and simple and don’t like any frills. You might strive to have a clean and perfect existence; but is it totally worth it? Don’t you feel that there is something missing? You are all about your personal achievements and you take pride in your work or career. Although you might be on track with your career path or have a few diplomas/ certificates on your wall, you need to spend more time on developing yourself as a person. Remember... the real you. Life is all about creating balance, surrounding yourself with color and creating memorable adventures. If you are finding that you have been taking the safe road lately, try veering off the beaten path. You might surprise yourself!

3 – It is obvious you are a quirky individual and very interesting to the people that you let into your life. You are good at many things... a “Jack or Jill of all trades”. You are an artistic individual that expresses yourself in many ways. You can make something out of anything and are not a stranger to your local thrift shop. You can basically make vintage “new” again. It is easy to get stuck inside the house or inside your urban bubble; but remember that you have to get out and connect with nature. It is time to come down out of the clouds and get grounded!

4 – You are an old soul that can be slightly dramatic. You are a very artistic person that loves to express yourself through writing, music, art or some kind of expression. You are a dichotomy; for you can be very open and friendly, yet closed and deeply private. You often have your guard up, keeping your thoughts and troubles to yourself. Although you might think that nobody will truly understand you, if you allow yourself to open up and share your feelings, you will feel so much better. Deep down you are not aright with any imperfections and you feel the need to come across as “the rock” in any group situation. Know that people are willing to share their feelings with you and want you to share your feelings with them.

5 – It is very important for you to fit in and feel as though you are a major contributor in every situation. You always have things going on, for being productive is what makes you feel at ease. Your busy-ness can sometimes cause the need for you to become more aware of what is really going on around you. What does your body want you to be doing? It is alright to relax on a Monday and simply just BE. Feel free to take some time to figure out what you really love to do. Possibly try some new hobbies or activities that are out of your normal routine. Explore being you, even if that means relaxing. Life is not just about how many muffins you can make in a single batch or how many fit-it jobs you can do in one day.

6 – You are a confident person with an eye for detail. You can come across as someone who is all together and exciting; yet you are just YOU on the inside. You care about your appearance and how the world sees you, yet the inside your home or car is probably a total mess! Your personality can be self destructive, for you could turn against yourself when the going gets tough. The life of a person who is a living a total contradiction... has got to be a difficult one. Remember to breathe and just relax. Life is not just about pleasing others. Truth is, the world isn’t always watching... Take time to reflect on who you truly want to be? What is it that you truly want to do?

7 – You are a simple minimalist that always has important things to do. You care for others and find your time anything but your own. You surround yourself with meaningful things, for you are very sentimental. Family and friends are very important to you and you would do anything for them. Not putting yourself first has made your life a safe and complacent one. What is it that can enrich your life today? What will make your life more colorful and enjoyable? Even though life gives you labels such as a mother, father, wife, husband, teacher, manager, etc; remember that your life is still YOUR life. Take a moment to decide what you want your future to look like. It is perfectly acceptable to want wonderful things to happen to you. Carpe Diem.

8 – Your fun and playful personality keeps you young and youthful. Although you are easy going, you tend to have lower self-confidence and anxiety about specific things in your life. You are usually unorganized; yet don’t even know where to start to help yourself to fix the messy problem. You are a proud individual but you need to learn to love yourself more. You need to take the time to find yourself through self expression. How are you currently expressing yourself to the world? Remember that there are people around you that can help you, but you need to let them know you are willing to receive help. Life is easier when you let people in.

9 – You are a quirky person that is always making things work. You are an amazing problem solver that prides yourself on your thrifty living. You like to live an uncomplicated life and usually get by with the basics. Why would you need anything else? You are very easy to please and love doing things for others. Whether it be fixing your neighbours' doorbell, building a bird house for your mother out of reclaimed wood or helping your friend find a great living room set at the thrift shop; you are always there to lend a hand. Remember that life is special. It is OK to treat yourself to amazing things. You are special too!

10 – You are one who truly appreciates stability and wholeness. You are a reliable person that takes pride in their love of quality and detail. Some might say “cookie cutter”, but you say dependable! You always know what you are getting because you have checked the consumer reports. You love safety and security in all parts of your life. You prefer not to have anything frivolous or extra, if you can’t see the use for it. Chances are you have some sort of creative side that you have curbed in some way. You might love scrap-booking, music or art; yet would never try to make it your career. You feel your problems are your own and nobody needs to be burdened with them. Just keep in mind that exposing your true self to the world (or your neighbors) is not a crime. We are all human.

Sitting beside the window

There was a bistro somewhere in the town when one of my meeting got cancelled I went there to get some food as the clock was ticking two in the afternoon and my stomach grumbled saying it needs to be taken care now. As I grabbed a seat next to the window and sipped cold orange soda in that hot summer afternoon I started thinking about all the heroes I ever read. From William Darcy to Oliver from Clifron to Christian Grey. I started wondering that what does from the William Darcy to Christian Grey makes every girl go crazy about falling in love. 

There must have been so many girls who calculate their guys on a scale of William Darcy to Christian Grey, they compare their guys with these fictional characters. Do these girls meet guys like them or they spend their time only dreaming about them. I remember from the day I read Pride and Prejudice I looked for William Darcy to whichever place I went. Its a subconscious mind that plays the tunes for finding the one, its not a task I decided to complete in the day. But whenever I walked or travelled I looked forward to discover the one. My love for getting such a control freak grew as the time passed. Now as more I spread my wings more it becomes difficult to bound myself in love. And its not only with me but its with every girl who read Darcy or Grey. Every girl loves staring from the window which has the view of that avenue where she sees hundreds of people walking everyday and she believes that might anytime a Darcy or Grey will pass by. Though they come and pass by but not in the exact way like those girls have been dreaming ever since they were teens. But when a Darcy or a Grey come, do they fall for a lady in the same way. Why Darcy or Grey are not found so often? Why they are so rare? Why guys are actually not like them? Are they just a type? What extra something they have which makes their ladies go completely crazy over them?

Till these are answered a girl will always find a seat next to the window and would spend afternoons after afternoons staring that alley where she thinks she can get at least a glimpse of her Darcy or Grey. 

Every Language needs a reboot.

The most confusing thing in my life is the spelling differences in American English and Britain English. The missing "u" in American English do not register itself in my mind and the same "u" in Britain English is never accepted by my docx. Another tough thing is, while reading classic European authors I witnessed a dramatic change English literature has taken in last three decades. Well I guess it's more or less same with every language these days. To reckon, most of the people I meet now a days dont even know how to read and write in Hindi and we say "Hum Hindustani".

Language needs a reboot. 

Education and Capability are two different things.

There have been talk about Smriti Irani so much in media but I would like to put a simple question. Our ex PM MMS was one of the most educated minds, but what glory did he bring to the country? 

He wasn't even capable of putting his views forward. With the brigade of "highly qualified" people, our nation only witnessed worst economy may it be inflation, corruption, price rise or plunders of scams. Not to forget ex PM also had coal scam in his kitty, does that gives the idea of developing a nation? Smriti Irani may not be highly qualified but she is an educated one. We need a thinker not an educator here and it does not stop her from bringing reformation in the system. 

Rightly said "Education and Capability are two different things." 

The way you choose it.

Yes, like many other individual faced I am also in the same cue for not being heard at times. I had my own doubts and own speech. It becomes utmost important for many people we meet in life who tries to be domineering over us and we without any reason find ourselves in the submissive slot.  

As I Read

I hate that feeling when I wrap a book. While I read it becomes a part of daily routine. I travel, I eat and I sleep with it. And now once its over the day seems to be empty today. I remember this hour yesterday I was gripping the book in front of my eyes and was so much into it. Sometime, though I love when it has happy ending and sometimes when its not I never want to close it. Like my last read which do not have happy ending took me to the phase of thinking what shall happen next. But thankfully the author has worked enough and there are two books to follow. Lets see what's kept in darker and freed. 

Holi...a miss !!!

This was the first holi ever when I was not with my family and friends back home. Surprisingly I thought that Holi was never a happening fest but from past three years when I started celebrating with friends, got the idea about this spectacular festival. 

I was all in reminiscence mode where every flash of my last few Holis reeled over my eyes. I had the best Holis in Delhi with lavish spread from Maa's kitchen, special thandai, appy's enthusiasm and arrangements, ipu's playlist and my friends the perfect blend of an informal Holi party. Oh ! I missed all of them so much. I had nowhere to enjoy my Holi this time and was idle though the only way I was able to get through this Holi was the book I started reading. But I wish I do not have such Holi ever in my life again. 

Sometimes it get tougher to fight through situations.  

One day the day will come.

Sometime I really put myself in the blessed category for the place I am born in. Though eventually many doesnt see India as a very safe place for women but still I have the independence to live here. I can read books, I dont have to cover my head with a dark colour scarf to hide my crown, I can roam around streets, I can have male friends, I can hold a guy's hand in public, I can openly wear lipstick and go to theatre, have hobbies, work and so much that equalises me to the men. 

I have a driving passion of reading middle eastern writers and the way they put the women in their societies is so different from where I have grown. I cant imagine what kind of life it would be with no sense of independence to which rebellion is just a word printed in dictionaries. Inhaling air and filling your lungs to breadth and live is not all as life is known. I hope that someday they get their share of independence to grow as an individual they want to not secretively but widely. They too must get a chance to celebrate their existence as a Woman. 

On International Women's Day. 

How do they feel.

Sometime I really put myself in the blessed category for the place I am born in. Though eventually many doesnt see India as a very safe place for women but still I have the independence to live here. I can read books, I dont have to cover my head with a dark colour scarf to hide my crown, I can roam around streets, I can have male friends, I can hold a guy's hand in public, I can openly wear lipstick and go to theatre, have hobbies, work and so much that equalises me to the men. 

I have a driving passion of reading middle eastern writers and the way they put the women in there societies is so different from where I have grown. I cant imagine what kind of life it would be with no sense of independence to which rebellion is just a word printed in dictionaries. Only inhaling air and filling your lungs to breadth and live is not all as life as known. I hope that someday they get their share of independence to grow as an individual they want to not secretively but widely. 

9 years, Still I remember his face.

I remember him wearing a red tshirt with black jeans, a glasses on eyes. Whenever he used to enter the room, he first looked at me and then went to his seat. Never ever have seen him carrying any notes or files. His pale skin blushed whenever saw him in that red tshirt he worn. 

I had only spoke to him twice not more then that. I thought about speaking to him further but he just vanished like smoke. I gave him a scrap book to fill once but couldn't find anything more than his then favourite author Shiv Khera. 

With this page of my scrap book turning over, the story of my first crush gets sealed in the dust of the time. I planned to tell him my likings but I guess destiny planned ahead and he was only good enough as a crush. Its been 9 years now but SK still exist somewhere in my tender heart. 

He must be out there, somewhere !

I have this imaginary friend with me today. Now dont get to the conclusion that I am going through some metal illness or something. I know it very well that neither anyone can see him nor anyone is able to know about my imaginary friend. I am still existing in this real world where I am trying to find a corner for myself. 

In these busy days of work and over work there are so many things which we miss at regular intervals. Either its friends "new friends" in new city and new place. The bonding that makes you stronger internally. Everyone here tries to dominate you as much possible keeping themselves forward. They forget that you are not a bin on which they keep on throwing their trash and then you feel like defrosting everything and walk your way out. And as you walk ahead you realise of stepping alone and then you get your imaginary friend. I named my friend Shiv. What to tell you about Shiv other than saying he is tall, cute, sensitive, intelligent, loves rallies and adventure sport, but he also have no problem for me being fat (now thats a relief) and he wants me to be confident enough for what I am. And wants me to enjoy my life to the fullest. He tries to boost me up every now and then and surprisingly, he is able to do that. He tries to make out every single moment I live not because he is possessive rather because he cares. Like right now he is poking his eyes to see what I have been writing but would never let him see. 

The best part is we both speak and listen to each other. That tuning and understanding is there where I dont have to think what to puke. And the way he handles me is incredible. Somehow I feel that he is having a small little feelings for me but he never said it. And for me, I never asked. There is a chemistry between us that works amazingly. I wish I could let him meet everyone in this world. But he is just an imagination of mine. Isn't he ?